And today since it's now February and everyone's thoughts turn to Love as the shops stuff themselves to overflowing with hearts and flowers. I thought I'd start with this little conundrum....
Why do men and women’s expectations of love seem to differ so greatly? And is it people like me – writers of romantic fiction - that are to blame for giving women false hope that their knight in shining armour is going to ride up on his white charger and scoop them up in his strong arms carrying them off into the sunset?
Actually if you ask the vast majority of women, the above description isn’t their ideal fantasy. Most women would be happy with a man that makes them laugh, keeps himself clean, tidy and presentable, and is a tiny bit romantic on occasions... all right perhaps a tad more than a tiny bit. And that’s the key boys, us women like a bit of romance. We like to be wooed.
Take for instance the success of rom-com movies. They have everything I’ve just mentioned above. The laughter - if they’re done well! The fairly normal looking hero – ie your Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Tom Hanks types. I’ll agree not exactly ugly, but not Adonis’ either, with rippling six packs and bulging biceps. They’re a man we could imagine ourselves with and that’s the key. And then there’s the all important romance, which of course never runs smoothly, but usually take the course of the movie to play out, and that’s what we adore. We’d love our own men to send us romantic emails in order to woo us (Tom Hanks - You’ve got Mail) Declare their love for us silently on placards (Andrew Lincoln - Love Actually) Learn our language in order to propose – (Colin Firth - Love Actually) the list goes on...
How many times have you been somewhere and listened to someone else’s tale of their own (very sensible) partner’s romantic gesture or proposal, only to see all the other woman within earshot cooing with envy that it wasn’t them on the receiving end.
Get used to it boys, romance isn’t going anywhere. Woman love it. And if you want woman to love you, then you’d better get some practice in!
Andrew Lincoln doing just the right thing in Love Actually. "Aahhh..."
Until the next time,